


All Of These Stars Will Guide Us Home

by starrywrite



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M, death mention, illness mention, spoilers for the fault in our stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 03:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1803589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywrite/pseuds/starrywrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil go to see “The Fault In Our Stars” together, and afterwards, Dan finds he has a lot on his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Of These Stars Will Guide Us Home

**Author's Note:**

> my friend laura suggested i write something based off of dan and phil seeing TFIOS together so i did the thing :) enjoy friends!!!
> 
> MAJOR spoiler for tfios; don’t read if you don’t want spoilers okay!! also mentions of illness and death.

The screen goes black, and the occupants of the theater begin to clap, some people standing to their feet, other remaining rooted to their seats but clapping for the movie that had just ended. There isn’t a dry eye in the room, soft sobs being heard from all corners of the theater. It doesn’t last long, shortly after the theater starts to empty, people discarding their empty popcorn buckets, the trash cans filling up with used tissues. And then there’s Dan, who’s seated in his seat, staring blankly ahead at the end credits on the screen, Ed Sheeran’s voice filling the silence, and he’s finding he’s got a lot on his mind at the moment.

He can’t stop thinking about the movie, and he can’t stop thinking of Hazel Grace. How is she going to go on with her life now? Sure, she got some closure, but the love of her life is gone; how is she supposed to cope? How is she supposed to wake up day after day knowing that the person she loved more than anything won’t be waking up with her?

Those thoughts cloud his mind for a while now, but those thoughts are old; he distinctly remembers thinking the same thing after he finished reading the book. So now he starts thinking of something else - no, he starts thinking of _someone_ else. He starts thinking of Phil. 

His mind starts swimming with all of these what ifs - what if Phil had cancer, what if Phil had an MRI one day and lit up like a Christmas tree, what if Phil was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it? 

His chest tightens when he thinks about Phil dying, because Phil is so important to him, Phil is his everything. And no, Phil isn’t dying right now, but now he can’t stop thinking that one day it’s going to happen. And he doesn’t know how Hazel is going to do it; he doesn’t know how Hazel is going to be okay - no pun intended - now that Gus is gone. And he doesn’t know how he is going to do it - because it’s going to happen one day, no one lives forever. One day, Phil is going to die, and one day he is going to die, and one day, one of them is going to have to live without the other.

Dan thinks about Gus’ eulogy, and how he wanted to leave his mark, and then how he realized that he left his mark - he left his scar on Hazel. And maybe that’s how she’s going to be okay, because even though Gus is gone, he left his mark. 

And maybe, when Dan dies, he’s going to leave a mark on Phil.

It’s like a movie montage scene; his mind lingers on the first time he met Phil in Manchester Station, the way his heart was pounding in his chest, the way his stomach was doing flips when he finally spotted Phil standing there waiting for him. He thinks of their first hug, their first kiss. They’ve had so many firsts together, done so many things together. They’ve been to California, Florida, New York, Scotland. They’ve interviewed celebrities on red carpets, they’ve gotten their photos taken on red carpets. They’ve been backstage at Reading and Leads, backstage at the BBC Radio 1 Teen Awards, backstages at the O2 Arena where they held the Brit Awards. They interviewed Fall Out Boy and One Direction and Haim and Bastille and Taylor Swift and Fall Out Boy again. They got their own radio show, and then won the Sony Golden Headphones award. 

They’ve done so many things that if asked at age eighteen, Dan wouldn’t have thought any of it was possible… and they did it all together. And there isn’t another person, dead or alive, that Dan would’ve done half these things with. And Dan knows, that when the time comes, he’s going to look back on his life and he’ll smile. Because it was a good life.

It’s a good life, he realizes. A good life spent with Phil. And he hopes that Phil has had a good life spent with him.

“Dan,” he blinks hearing his voice, and he brings his hands up, wiping his eyes. “You alright?” 

“Fine, fine.” he says, sniffling. He turns to Phil, who reaches out and thumbs away a stray tear sliding down his cheek, and with a small smile he just says, “I love you.”

Phil smiles and he tells him back, in a hushed voice meant only for him, “I love you too.”


End file.
